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Designing Alliances Print E-mail

Before you begin an interaction with a colleague, take a few moments to design an alliance.

How often have you been in a conversation that seemed to be going in circles or nowhere at all?  Ever left conversations feeling lost, confused or frustrated that you weren’t heard? Clear communication is the overall and underlying theme of all leadership coaching and is a major component of the coaching we do at The Third Zone. Time and again I find it facilitates successful communication for my clients.

Design an alliance. What that means is, before you get to the topic of the conversation, state upfront what you’d like to accomplish in the dialogue. By taking just a couple minutes at the beginning of a conversation, you can save time and avoid inefficiencies caused by miscommunication. Designing an alliance will add value to any interaction because it allows both individuals to be actively engaged.

For example, imagine the benefit of knowing upfront that a colleague doesn’t have the time right then to meet your needs in the conversation. Rather than being misunderstood or cut short, by designing an alliance upfront, together you may decide to reschedule the conversation at a more optimal time for you both.

The initial designing of an alliance takes conscious effort. As you practice it becomes more natural and automatic.

4 Simple Steps to Designing an Alliance:

 

  1. Determine the purpose of your interaction.
  2. Make “agreements about your communication. For example, you may agree not to interrupt each other, or you might request to talk only about the topic and not get off track.
  3. Clarify what you can count on each other for: “You can count on me for______ and I want to count on you for ______.” (Negotiate if necessary to reach agreements).
  4. Define what you agree to do if one or both of you is acting in a way that is out of alignment with your agreements?


Using these four steps is recommended. However, using any of them will greatly improve your interactions. It’s important to note that designing an alliance is not a one-time ‘event.’ Once designed, it must be honored and, if need be, re-designed to meet changing circumstances. 

Designing an alliance is a highly effective communication tool for leaders. With daily use, it will become a foundational piece of your leadership practice.

 

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